Ukraine

They will, sometimes, and they are. But one of the most notable things in the early days of the war was how even while people were dying, Ukraine attempted to make it clear to the Russian people that the fight wasn't with them; they set up hotlines for families of captured soldiers to find out information, dropped guidelines illustrating how any individual person could surrender and save their life, basically tried to defend themselves without passing from there into some cartoonish vindictiveness like hoping that a bunch of football fans get killed by an explosion. They're still doing what they can to let people in Russia know what is the reality of what their children are in for, if they sign up for the Russian army. Not like "yeah we hope you die" but more like the exact opposite, "please stay the fuck home because if you come here you might die alone in a muddy ditch."

I'm not sure why there is this perception on the Russian side that "we're super evil and we do terrible things" is this propaganda victory that's going to do good things for them if they just spread it far and wide enough. But you're far from the first person I've seen doing it. It's like, we can't actually win against the military forces; the only thing we have is the capacity to threaten to hurt the innocent if people don't do what we say. IDK man. Surely you can. Good luck with that.