Alt text: a text post that reads: Work in retail long enough, and you'll eventually realize the rules for dealing with Customers are exactly the same as dealing with the Fae:
- Avoid eye contact.
- Never reveal your full name.
- Accept nothing They offer you.
- Never verbally agree or disagree with anything They might happen to say.
- To apologize is to acknowledge a debt owed.
- Under no circumstances are you ever to thank Them.
- Remember that They are incapable of reading signs in human languages.
Trouble with the last one is that most of them can, so you can have a full month of getting used to people obeying signage only to suddenly deal with a dozen different customers who will not only ignore a sign placed at eye level saying "We Are Closed" but will pry open the door (if possible) and scale a full barricade to get in, and when you track them down and tell them what the damn sign said they insist that you should have put the sign somewhere obvious and that it's actually your fault that they didn't know they were breaking and entering.