this post was submitted on 19 May 2024
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I don't think my lurking counts as breaking the rules, I'm just fulfilling my commitment late.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Iโ€™ve been known to deadname the one true church. Joseph Smith named it the Church of Christ, but the Mormon church is going through its little phase ๐Ÿ’… and insists on being called, and get this, no abbreviations allowed,

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

I got supremely lucky one day when they knocked on my door. I happened to be in the middle of carving up a full beef tenderloin flank into filets and tips, and was expecting company, so I didn't bother cleaning up, putting on a shirt, or even putting the butchers knife down.

So what they got to see was a 6'3" blonde haired, blue eyed, viking looking fucker open the door in shorts with blood covering my arms and the hand I was holding the knife in, (I took the time to wipe off one hand with wipes, dont want blood everywhere), who promptly yelled over his shoulder, "Hey guys you can let the goat go! I just found us a couple of virgins!"

They scarpered quickly.