this post was submitted on 13 May 2024
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Men's Liberation

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This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.


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Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.



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submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

As has been discussed already here in this community, the key takeaway from the bear hypothetical is that it is an opportunity to truly listen to the lived experiences of women under patriarchal systems. I encourage "first response" to the bear discussion to head back to this post, as I am looking for discussion kind of after the fact. If this is your first exposure to the bear thing, head there, then pop back here after you have a good handle on the situation.

My question has two parts:

  1. Positive Steps: Let's explore resources for folks to act on the things they have learned from this discussion.
  2. Creating a Safe Space: During the course of the debate, it's likely that high emotions have led to lashing out and unkind words, perhaps even unintentionally directed towards men who may be survivors of SA themselves. Can we create a space here for listening and affirming one another about these potentially painful experiences?
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[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Rule 3: Assume good faith.

Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question.

If women's personal experiences lead them to make a choice, we are not downplaying that as "hallucinatory" in this community. This is unwelcome behavior.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago (1 children)

"Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question"

I.E. If a chick or dude claims to have been abducted by a UFO, had their sex organs examined in a wide variety of ways which defy the laws of basic biology, and given birth/fathered a few million human/alien hybrids, don't so much as wonder to oneself: "Is it also possible that this person's story is a prank, or that the tale they're telling is a byproduct of schizophrenia?"

Pursuit of the truth, no matter where it leads, and how uncomfortable what we find might makes us feel momentarily is the stuff of The Dark Ages

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If someone says something like that, there's no point interacting with them anyway. You're not going to persuade them that it didn't happen if they truly believe it, and you're not going to gain anything by attempting to do so.

Either way, in your first comment you're complaining about feelings and behaviours resulting from entirely plausible experiences, not about experiences that are themselves implausible.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Beyond that, it's no one who isn't a board certified shrink's role to persuade someone that what they believe may not be a perception or outright fantasy

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Nah.

Allowing others to continue in their delusions is abuse.

If I don't know you, I'll just let you go on with your life. But I'm not letting friends or family continue with their delusions.

I won't tell them they're wrong, just explore their delusions to hopefully help them come to their own conclusions.

In my family there are mentally ill, genetic disorders and neuro-atypicals. I deal with this all the time. It's challenging. But it's a responsibility we all share in the family.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago

We all look forward to the day where the euphemism "neuro atypical" gets left in the late 2010s, where it fucking belongs