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I had a panic attack and didn't protest yesterday (lemmygrad.ml)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Months ago, I contacted my local PSL chapter wanting to join and interviewed with a member. They kept me updated about their upcoming events for a time but ultimately I never showed up to anything and they (understandably) stopped contacting me.

I kept telling myself this time was going to be different and that I'd meet up with them and finally start doing the praxis thing. I got all pumped up in the morning but when it came time to physically leave my apartment, I panicked and couldn't do it.

I was raised by narcissists. It's been hammered into me since birth to not speak up because my opinions don't matter. Because of this I am a very reclusive and quiet person and take forever to open up to anyone. And I don't usually post on any social media. I hate being in the spotlight. It's taking some real effort and I mean like herculean to even type this and ask for help.

How the hell am I supposed to overcome this? Besides and in addition to going to therapy? Because I do want to join and contribute.

I just don't feel adequate. I feel like I let not only myself down but every student and worker out there with some actual skin in this movement down.

Any advice is greatly appreciated. Y'all are wonderful people <3

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago

Might not hurt to let them know that you've got a lot of anxiety about attending protests and see if there are other things you can do.

Hell, they may have their shit together enough that they've got a decent idea of how long an action will take and at what points things are going to get rough. You could go to the protest during the less hectic parts with the group where everybody knows before hand who all needs to bounce before things get too rough.

Hopefully they can be cool with helping you through baby steps.