this post was submitted on 27 Apr 2024
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[–] [email protected] 68 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I decided to stop making excuses a few years ago and just say when I’m not feeling socially up to it or there are too many people. Positive reactions literally across the board, haven’t had a single weird conversation. I’d recommend it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Thank you. This is such a breath of fresh air. In all cases I prefer a simple answer, when organising an event with multiple people where I want to get ideas on numbers for planning.

• Yes - great! See you there

• No (with or without a reason) - fantastic! We've all got our own stuff going on or reasons why we don't want to go!

• Maybe, with a reason why, or when you would be able to give an answer - cool!

• Maybe, with no further explanation - ugh. I'll just assume you're not coming and don't care.

Maybe with no explanation is the cowards way out. Especially when "no sorry, I'm busy!" is the standard white lie.

"No because I don't want to (don't feel socially up to it)" is the hero's response and I salute you 🫡

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

John Frusciante has spoken!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

I’ve also found honesty to be the best way, with a few exceptions, like.. because of my outward appearance and things thus assumed, a lot of people take my honesty -very- personally when really it has nothing to do with them.

But.. that’s a really good reason for me to get them out of my life asap, so it kinda still works out.