Vegan

Eh, shame (or rather, guilt) is a healthy emotion when you do something harmful and don't make amends for it. It's an emotion that's meant to motivate the person feeling it to do better, athough it can be hijacked by social pressure to make people feel shame when they've done nothing wrong, which is worth watching out for (especially common around sex).

If I steal from a friend, I should feel guilt/shame because I did something hurtful to my friend. Someone running a dog fighting ring should be ashamed of themselves for perpetuating and profitting off violence. Someone contributing to animal agriculture should be ashamed of themselves for supporting violence and exploitation and abuse because it's convenient and gives them pleasure. I feel ashamed of using fossil fuels and water inefficiently, among other things, but that helps motivate me to try to change.

I hear ya! My stance, personally, is that those of us that live in as much comfort as many humans do (eg, climate control in a house) have a responsibility treat other sentient beings better than non-human predators do and certainly better than human society currently does - ie, raise/kill-in-the-most-cheap/inhumane way possible.

Thanks for sharing what you're going through. It's good to talk about this stuff. Nevermind the downvotes. I think I covered that type of behaviour in my last comment ;P