Once again, I said some stupid shit. My life is a cycle of keeping things to myself and getting comfortable, then letting my guard down and expressing myself, then making everyone mad.
The older I get, the more I understand the archetype of an old man and his dog, living alone in the woods.
This has "I have a shitty friend group and I'm trying to be a reasonable person but i'm unaware just how much they're holding me back" energy.