this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2023
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Off My Chest

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RULES:


I am looking for mods!


1. The "good" part of our community means we are pro-empathy and anti-harassment. However, we don't intend to make this a "safe space" where everyone has to be a saint. Sh*t happens, and life is messy. That's why we get things off our chests.

2. Bigotry is not allowed. That includes racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and religiophobia. (If you want to vent about religion, that's fine; but religion is not inherently evil.)

3. Frustrated, venting, or angry posts are still welcome.

4. Posts and comments that bait, threaten, or incite harassment are not allowed.

5. If anyone offers mental, medical, or professional advice here, please remember to take it with a grain of salt. Seek out real professionals if needed.

6. Please put NSFW behind NSFW tags.


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So I stopped generally using Reddit after the whole API thing but my husband still does and we talk about stuff since Lemmy gets the job done.

One thing he likes is to hop on r/freecompliments and participate there.

Well, today he got permanently banned. Why? Because a bot dredged his profile and found that he sometimes participates in porn subreddits. Usually to complement people there, never posting himself. He's pretty ace, so it's rarely, if ever, sexual. But that was enough for the bot to ban him.

They sent a message about how they are sfw subreddit and don't allow users to participate in NSFW subreddits.

He's heartbroken about it. He really likes to be nice to people and it makes his day when they respond to him. Now he can't do that in a sub that's meant for it.

I feel like the site rules have opinions about banning like this, but it's not like the admins give a fuck. So fuck those mods and their puritanical bullshit making at least once persons day worse, for the low cost of a user that was participating in good faith.

And since I'm on a roll, fuck spez

I tried posting this to trueoffmychest to dredge some sympathy for him, since that seemed appropriate and he was good with it, but they don't allow 'anger' or 'impersonal' posts and that got quietly removed immediately. So fuck them too. I didn't realize how far down the shitter reddit has gone.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That sucks, but try not to get so invested in this stuff (you and your husband both). Like, think about it objectively - some wanna be internet police literally prevented you from being nice to strangers. Think of how silly and pedantic and absurd that is.

Is that really something you want to let make you feel upset? Even for a second? Like don't even give it a second thought, just roll your eyes at the absurdity, move on and enjoy your lives together.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You're not wrong. I'll admit I was more upset by him being sad possibly more than he was at it happening. My general feelings on the stupidity stand, but neither of us are going to let it really drag us down.

He liked that a bunch of people at least sent some sympathy his way. I think it helped him not spiral on it. He's prone to getting stuck on things so I appreciate everyone being generally kind.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

Glad he's feeling better and hopefully he lets that roll off him without too much negativity setting in.