The Onion
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
When in doubt go for chaos... NO DONT I AM KIDDING
Looks like the orcs are out in force tonight
I'd really like it if midwest.social would defed from hexbear. It's a nice instance, but the comment sections are often a disaster.
Yeah, I swear I just heard one of them say "Looks like Geek is back on the menu, boys!"
I didn't even know orcs had restaurants? How do they know what a menu is?!
The dark lord has neither a healthy body nor a healthy mind. He's spying on you all. With hiX all-seeing eye.
But as Elrond told a hobbit before:
Yet such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world, Small hands do them because they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere.’
I was under impression that Sauron was for order through subjugation, not chaos.
But in any case that would just make the allegory more fitting.
I don't know that Sauron had an ideology per se, more just power for the sake of power. Which allegorically is pretty spot on I think.
You should focus all your attention on the genocide of the horsemen of Rohan, and absolutely ignore the much larger genocide of the people of Gondor because they should have just surrendered to mordor in the beginning to have peace. Also mordor didn't encourage that other genocide to distract from their genocide at all.
Signed
A concerned citizen from somewhere outside mordor like St. Brandywinesburg.
Not humoring this childish nonsense about a novel; scum like you won't even press Kamala at every moment to stop her support of genocide because you don't give a damn about the Palestinians; you gonna vote for her in the tens of millions? Then why aren't there tens of millions putting her on the spot about her support for Israel? You people don't give a damn and you're not conning anyone here.
I would to vote for someone who isn't immortal but NOOOO that's throwing my vote away
Look, everyone is saying Saruman is just as bad as Sauron, but here's the thing:
Yes he is moving towards Sauron strategically on specific issues, but these issues are important to his base and he has to throw them a bone.
Yes he is illegally killing Rohan civilians, but nobody claimed the defense of the regions west of his Stone Circle system would be painless.
Yes his armies look and foreign policy look eerily similar to Sauron's, but he promises he's trying to stop him actually.
You purists in the Shire keep saying it's not necessary to destroy the whole forest of Fangorn but he got the endorsement of Lurtz, so he clearly knows more about politics than you do.
Anyone serious understands that resisting Sauron means voting for Saruman.
Excellent job committing to the bit!
You can selectively ignore the point @[email protected] made all you like and continue to act le amused and le above it all. It's all you got.