this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2024
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The Monkey's Paw
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Then buy some cows, breed them, and selectively breed them until they're really small. But don't forget about secondary characteristics like aggressiveness, etc. Don't breed them to be a smash-faced pug with breathing problems.
Better hurry, though, since culture might change and suddenly domesticated animals like cows are recognized as people with rights and 20th century burger-eating culture becomes taboo.