this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2024
33 points (100.0% liked)

Beehaw Support

2796 readers
1 users here now

Support and meta community for Beehaw. Ask your questions about the community, technical issues, and other such things here.

A brief FAQ for lurkers and new users can be found here.

Our September 2024 financial update is here.

For a refresher on our philosophy, see also What is Beehaw?, The spirit of the rules, and Beehaw is a Community


This community's icon was made by Aaron Schneider, under the CC-BY-NC-SA 4.0 license.


if you can see this, it's up  

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

c/neurodivergence isn't being moderated at all lately. Three months ago there was the great post from [email protected] concerning ableism against people with NPD, and the amount of toxicity I saw in that thread was shocking. Some great people pushing back on the ableism and hate there, but I couldn't believe those hateful comments were being left up, or the sheer volume of them.

Yesterday I posted a new article I wrote also concerning NPD, hoping I would get the same kind of positive response I've gotten from Beehaw in the past when talking about neurodiversity. But instead I saw nothing but hate, personal attacks, and vicious toxicity. This isn't the kind of discourse I come to Beehaw to see, and I don't think I'm alone.

Looking at the community history, it looks like the post volume has dramatically reduced since immediately before that first NPD post. I'm not surprised people are avoiding the community, I don't intend to use it anymore either if what I received yesterday is going to be the norm.

The modlog of this community hasn't been touched in 7 months, and the only comment removal visible at all is tagged with the removal reason "stupid comment", which I frankly find quite ironic.

Can we please have some actual moderation on this community? If there is absolutely nobody else who can volunteer their time then I'd even be happy to do it Myself.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (13 children)

While I would like to have a discussion with you, I'm going to have to ask you to use My preferred pronouns. I use capitalised pronouns, as it says in My bio. That means you call Me "You" instead of "you". And please don't call Me a n*rcissist, that word is a slur and should only be used by people from within the community, not by neurotypicals.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 4 months ago (12 children)

Respectfully, I dont read anyone's bio. If you ask me to use your preferred pronouns in interactions with you that's fine with me, capitalization isnt a pronoun though. (How would that even apply in verbal communication?)

Narcissist isnt a slur, it is simply the proper word for a person with certain pronounced character traits which amount to a narcissistic personality... In fact your whole reply reads like a bad faith or troll response on second read.

Lastly I am neurodivergent myself, having ADHD. Not sure why that matters anyway

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (10 children)

If someone from an affected community is telling you that something is a slur, perhaps it might be better to listen to them as they are likely to know more about it than anyone else.

Those with NP had a very understandable reaction to trauma and it is a shame how they are treated by the rest of us neurodivergent folks not least because it isn't actually useful in helping them out and just worsens the reaction to trauma.

There are ways we can all work together though and one of those is talking to and listening to folks with NP or any of the "axis of different 'disorders'" when they tell you something is a problem.

I have friends with various 'axis disorders' and they know exactly what they need and how they can be helped, after all of this kind of trauma reaction comes from abuse, a lack of understanding and lack of love. Do you think more of that will be useful?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Or perhaps decide that interaction with such a person isn't viable.

There is no requirement to adopt others particular eccentricities or needs, choosing to not engage can also be a valid choice.

There are of course potential downsides to this, but if each person is unwilling to adhere to a common contract of communication then the cessation of communication is a reasonable response.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yes, that can be better in some cases than arguing and making things worse overall.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Choosing not to engage can also be a positive rather than just the prevention of negatives.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Would you like to explain how?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I read your reply as stating that the only outcomes could be "argue and make things worse" or "don't do that", a negative and a neutral respectively.

I perhaps read only the words and not the intent, I think we are may be saying the same thing.

In case we are not :

Not engaging actively frees someone up to do literally anything else, which could overall be more positive than just the prevention of the negative.

In addition some people might consider the avoidance of the argument itself to be a positive rather than just maintaining a neutral position.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Thank you very much for explaining!

load more comments (8 replies)
load more comments (9 replies)
load more comments (9 replies)