EABOD25

So here's mine. At the time, I didn't find it funny, but as an adult, I can understand how this is hilarious.

So I'm a pretty smart guy. I was a smart kid who had(s/d) a pretty good memory. I remember things from when I was about 2 1/2 to now. Some are blurry, but there's this one that sticks out to me because of the monster I saw.

Disclaimer: Most of what is typed is dramatization for entertainment purposes, but the actual situation is real

My parents and grandparents were big on camping. I spent a lot of time in the woods from when I was a baby. And we weren't a family that did "glamping." We slept in tents, we'd go fishing for food, bathe in a lake or a creek, so on and so forth... and we would do this for a week in the summer every year.

We'd have roasted fish filets over an open fire, my grandfather would catch the fish in the morning (he was the best fisherman I've ever seen personally) and then would take the kids to go pick blackberries so my grandma could make a cobbler for desert for lunch and dinner.

So we did spend a lot of time out in the woods. So when I was about 3 was when memories started. My grandma likes to remind me about the time I would "preach" at chickens, and she loves the story. She embellishes a different way every time to try and get me embarrassed and I have to fake embarrassment because I remember talking to the chickens and I remember in brain what I was trying to tell them. It was that they needed to share. One hen kept getting pushed aside and wasn't able to feed. She was the skinniest and was standing in the back of the group. So I started lecturing the other hens that the last hen couldn't eat. I was a fat kid and I guess even then, food was good for everyone (my hobby is cooking now).

So i digress... I've bragged enough about my fantastic memory (humble brag).

So the family was camping one week, and I decide, while no one's looking, to go and check the woods out on my own (about 3 yrs old). I'm having a great time exploring the new world around me. I was a genuine forest dweller.

Until I heard a rustle below my feet. A strange stunning shock filled my body. There was a creature ready to crawl up my leg to finished my eldered 3 years of life on this planet. I thought I had fought my last battle and that a memorial would be raised for me. I withdrew the rest of my heavy amount of courage and looked down only to see the monster for what it was. A grotesque beast the craved nothing but blood.

I quickly made the choice to preserve my life and make a tactical retreat. I ran as fast as I could to receive strength from my superiors in support of combating this creature from hell.

Just kidding. I wondered off in the woods and encountered an armadillo. My 3 year old brain saw this crazy creature and immediately knew it was a monster.

To this day, I'm 40 years old and I hear this story every family gathering. Never fails. The time I was 3 and saw a "monster."

I used to be able to stream the song "Black Honey", but it wouldn't show up on Google music to play. Like it just got wiped. And now the song "Beyond The Pines" which the two videos were a storytelling bit. And now you can't get that video on YT. What issues is Thrice and Google having? Is there a way to stream their whole albums? And who's on the right side?

Edit: I got the song Hurricane and Beyond the Pines mixed up for the story, but you still can't stream Black Honey

Why does the title need to be worded like that? The worst part is that I've only seen them phrased like this with women celebrities.

So I often come here, even though I oppose the idea of saying "fuck cars". And yes, I do know it's not completely literal. However, I understand the logic.

With that being said, many people are using cars to be delivery contractors. It's not a necessary utility, but it is useful and is used by the vast majority of (I'll assume) 1st world countries. If vehicle use is reduced, what do you think would be a good strategy to keep this industry going? Yes, bicycles can still be used, but it would take more time, which would raise prices (capitalism). And another obvious solution would be to just do away with it and just go to restaurants. Do you have any opinions beyond those two that solutions I've already presented?

So I'm very sure the only original things with cooking is the mix of ingredients,

So with being said, I wanted to know if there's already a name to this.

What I do is take canned tuna, strain it and then add 2 tbsp of flour. I give it a good stir and then let it sit for 20 minutes. Once the 20 minutes is up, I'll throw a raw egg and 3 tbsp of flour and then I'll shake the container so there's a nice doughy layer over the tuna. I'll then fry it at roughly 425°F until golden brown (usually only takes a minute two). I'll remove from the oil and then put over rice or Asian noodles. It's a great lunch and you can add any sauce that you want to it (even though I recommend sweet or Asian sauces).

So is there an actual name to the tuna i fried? Or is it just a "wing it" kind of thing?

So I was a daily smoker and then I would take a rip, and immediately throw up. It would subside after a few hours and I was good for the rest of the day, but I thought it was weird so I stopped smoking for a couple of months, and figured I'd be OK smoking again this weekend. I took 2 hits, and immediately needed to throw up. They weren'tmonster hits nor did I get enough to even make me cough, but as soon as I took the second hit, I had to expell everything. Can someone please give me clarification on what is possibly going on?

So I'm the house keeper. Not a big deal. I love cooking and I love her response to the food I make.

At least three times a week, she tells me she felt bad that her coworkers didn't have a lunch, so I adjusted my cooking so her coworkers would have some sort of lunch if they didn't or couldn't bring anything. All she needed to do was bring the leftovers that she could share, and I would leave a small plate for myself for lunch the next day. SHE TAKES MY FUCKING LUNCH I MADE FOR MYSELF AND LEAVES THE LEFTOVERS FOR 4 PEOPLE! It drives me fucking insane. Stop bitching about coworkers not having enough to eat if you're not going to fucking help. It makes me so God damn angry because now this food is either sit and go bad or I have to eat the same meal twice a day. My fucking GOD!!!

I think a little clarification is needed. No. I don't actually think everyone there is insane. I don't care about the bans so stop trying to use that. HB enthusiasts coming here and trying to call me out achieves nothing besides proving my point

Edit: Feel free to keep trying to brigade me. It's not going to scare me to take this down

I love cooking and I love people loving my cooking. However, I don't like getting told what to do for long term, so working in a kitchen or restaurant is probably a bad position for me. I've given years of thinking about working or running a food truck with a rotating menu. It'd be cool to travel around and see different people a day enjoying my different dishes, but I've never actually heard the everyday ins-and-outs of working in a food truck. What are some experiences (good or bad) working in a food truck that you could share?

So recently learned from my doc that I need to follow a low fodmap diet. It's no big deal as long as I can eat potatoes (so many amazing things you can do with potatoes). I was wondering if anyone had some great low fodmap recipes that I could make that my wife (who doesn't need to follow the diet) and I could enjoy. I'm the cook, so as long as she enjoys it, we're good to go. I just made julienne fries with an egg on top and I found this amazing LFODMAP Louisiana hot sauce that I poured over it all. One of the best brunches Iade since I've had to follow this diet.

Edit: Thank you to those who are supportive of medical conditions such as IBS, Crohns, and Celiacs (which are the conditions that should use a low FODMAP diet). Also I'm very appreciative of people who are knowledgeable in the diet that I am referring to

FODMAP MEANS fermentable oligosaccharides, disaccharides, monosaccharides and polyols. All the things that are known to trigger reactions in certain GI issues that some people have. It's an important issue because you have serotonin receptors in your GI tract. It can also impact daily life and sleep!

However, I'm asking for recipes for low FODMAP diets. I ask very respectfully that if you do comment, please give me a recipe(s) instead of expressing the importance of the diet or that you know what the diet is.

Again, respectfully, recipes, please. Stop telling me you know what the diet is.