this post was submitted on 22 May 2024
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Why is a "conservative cell carrier" even a thing…that has to exist… or exists… nah you know I don't actually wanna know…
You know how the Nazis wanted to publish The Lord of the Rings in Germany but had to write Tolkien first to ask if he was jewish? Or that they're nuclear weapons program was slow because they had to make sure it was white guys who did the science?
It's that mentality.
The funnier thing is, there aren't any "Patriot Mobile" cell towers or data centers, basically they're a racism-themed Cricket Mobile or TracFone, where they rent bandwidth from one of the big three (AT&T, Verizon or T-Mobile these days if I understand correctly) but they're their own retail/customer service setup.
Marketing
There's a whole branch of capitalism dedicated to selling inferior products at terrible prices to conservatives who are terrified of wokeness.
Ooo im gonna give it a guess and its because its meant for people who conserve mobile data. Lmk if im right xoxo
Its a gimmick to sell phones.
Because religious conservatives are the easiest people to grift. Slap the word god or Jesus on something and they'll flock to it.
Just look at their description. “America’s only Christian conservative wireless provider and our mission is to passionately defend our God-given Constitutional rights and freedoms while glorifying God.”
Cell phone providers and cell service has literally nothing to do with religion or defending rights and freedoms yet they throw that shit in because Christian conservatives are morons and it will get them to buy.
Chances are the creator of the company isn't even religious at all.
Fuck me conservatives are so... I wanna say dumb but that just doesn't quite hit the mark, hmmmm how about "brother fucking sister stupid" yeah that works
If a left wing cell carrier tried to enter the market everyone would be like..tf? No. But conservatives are another breed and by that I mean inbred
They're not even a 'carrier', per se - just an MVNO reselling ATT and TMO. So a large chunk of the money goes back to the real carriers, i.e., the companies that conservatives are overpaying to avoid supporting.
The biggest irony is, even as PM claims that none of their money goes to "woke", PM is a MVNO, which means it merely resells services from a "woke" big mobile company (I think it's T-Mobile in this case). So indirectly PM funnels money to T-Mobile, which then might donate some money to "woke" non-profits.
This must be that virtue signaling that I keep hearing the right whine about.
This shit is so funny to me. The side of the political aisle that speaks entirely with memes and wears bright red hats to identify one another thinks the left is virtue signalling every time they step foot in public because of a rainbow pin or something.
Kinda like how they won't leave home without their guns, but accuse the left of "living life in fear" because we wore masks in public during the Pandemic.
I think hypocrisy is an official party platform at this point.
Cause anyone and anything that is branded as a conservative and is selling a product/service will make a killing on money because of how delusional and dumb the average conservative is.
I wonder if this would work in the opposite direction as well. By the rule of averages, there should be plenty of dumb to go around regardless of party affiliation.
Every once in awhile it crosses my mind that if I just gave up my morals I could make so much fucking money.
The difference between me being a middle-class American and me being filthy fucking rich is every day I wake up and I choose not to defraud every single person I possibly can of their money.
I feel like I should get a little thank you now and again, because I could be the greatest monster you've ever seen but instead I'm just a nobody and I don't think I get nearly enough appreciation for my service.
I see nothing wrong with defrauding conservatives. They're gonna find some grifter to give their money to, so it may as well be you.
"... wait'll they get a load of ~~me~~ you." - The Joker - 1989