chat

So tomorrow will be day 60 of not drinking, and I'm feeling pretty good. Had myself a great breakfast this morning and cooked my ass off today at work. I got prescribed arthritis medicine in rehab and the task I was dreading the most since returning to work was no problem today! Today my entire view on work changed, I was a far better cook than normal, I wasn't half assing recipes like I did when I was always hungover/withdrawaling. I even had time to do a bunch of cleaning around the kitchen. I even have energy leftover to cook when I get home. Probably due to drinking 8 red bulls today, but hey whatever makes me feel good and doesn't ruin my life, plus I get them for free at work. Gonna go to a meeting tonight and make some dinner

How are y'all today?

Was expecting horrific sinophobia, but instead two clerks agreeing while customers had to listen

Hell yeah

I think we should talk to him about that. Doesn't seem like a smart move.

The song is based on clips from this incident which made front page news in the UK:

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/handforth-parish-council-zoom-jackie-weaver-b1798051.html

I recently started talking with someone who seems to actually value my existence and company... well, I've known her for a bit, but she just decided to approach me first about the thought of us getting to know each other more and more. We've chatted a lot before, but it was mostly about veganism and insights pertaining to that—not much else, though.

She is incredibly relatable and a very fun person. She doesn't live near me, but we started sending each other long emails where we talk about ourselves and ask each other questions to know more about each other in terms of our interests, life, hobbies, and all of that—virtual penpal shit, basically. She said she loves doing that, but she's tried it with a few other people who unfortunately got bored and tired of it.

She told me that she is very closed-off and quiet. She does not feel comfortable talking to most people and is entirely estranged from her family (me too!) Her husband and I are the only people she would consider her friends, and she asked me if I minded being called her "BFF." And, of course, I don't.

She is a vegan activist who used to do a lot of street outreach but got tired and stressed because of that so she's done more chill things like post comics about animal liberation instead. She relates to me in other values as well. She's not really a comrade, but she knows I'm a Marxist and genuinely wants to learn more about that. She's an avid reader, so I gave her some basic recommendations and other resources besides books.

There's a level of understanding here that I feel like I seldom ever get... I'm glad to have her. I get really depressed most nights. I don't value and appreciate my own life much if I had to be honest, but it makes me glad knowing that someone else does.

Most people are repulsed by me in some way or another, so the fact that she reached out to me just to learn more about me and everything was really nice of her. We've vibed in the past, but things have gotten a lot closer now.

If I ever could get out of this shitty state, I'd love to hang with her and her husband IRL. We'd have a lot of fun. Her husband is into metal and really digs my music, too.

Funny story: I've been calling her "da GOAT," and English isn't her first language, so she thought I was calling her a literal goat, but she took it as a compliment because she really likes goats. She told her husband, an American, and he died laughing from hearing that story.

Funny shit. Behhh 🐐

Feels like, because of the way that media and culture is experienced in the modern day, I find myself looking for certain "types" of people. That's not to say I'm ignoring people's individuality or reducing them to caricatures, but there's definitely certain grooves that people fall into. Crypto guy is a type of guy, for example. They're not all the same, but they've got some very distinct and shared characteristics. I think, though, that some of these "types" of people are completely made up and do not exist in a substantial way. Most often, I think that these false typings come from sexual fantasy, objectification, and even a form of commodity fetishism. I think this is a huge part of online culture. It ranges from the "___ gf" kind of images to the starter pack meme format to whatever else you might find. Then there's the middle ground. My best example of that would be the idea of the egirl. There's definitely some people who could be categorized as authentic practitioners who simply are that way, but are generally exploded out of proportion because you can literally make a career being a content creator with that sort of persona and that sort of content gets plastered everywhere.

That's the normal level of unhealthy internet culture you'd expect, but I find myself struggling to differentiate between reality and the fiction of the internet. I might say a certain type of person is blown out of proportion by media and aren't that common since I never encounter them in my real life, but that logic doesn't hold any better than the idea that asian people are mostly fake because I haven't met very many. This starts being an issue when it shapes my expectations of people around me. "I wish I knew more people who had this kind of vibe. Wait, is that a real type of person? Is it just shallow bullshit I'm looking for for aesthetic reasons? Do people actually act like that? Do they really act/think like that, or are they just as internet poisoned as I am? Are there secretly lots of hot goth girls in New York but not Salt Lake City? Is that why the real estate is so expensive, or is it the other way around?" It really makes me feel like I am losing touch with reality in a way that is maybe not healthy, especially when it comes to looking for a partner. Often feels rather misogynistic in a way I can't put my finger on, too.

TL;DR how do you all differentiate between actual types of people and vague collections of biases?

Edit: I don't know why I worded this so poorly, but the notion I was looking for was a subculture. I think there are subcultures that are, to varying degrees, inorganic and overrepresented, but there is no way to have empirical data about the representation of such a vague notion of a subculture.

I spoke the other day about rich people whingeing that they don't have enough to retire in luxury. In today's news there is a 67 year old man who hates his job and wants to retire. However the poor thing only has $700K saved up. This only gives him $28K a year in interest. Poor old dear still hasn't paid off his mortgage so how will he manage on that?

How the other half live.

Look how they massacred my boy

i'm sorry if this makes me a sad person, but i really fucking hate italian brainrot. i despise tralalelo tralala, noooooooo, and i get agitated when i hear it blast on someones phone. it's fucking ai slop and i find zero comedy value in it at all, please let it die

Also fell asleep before switching work clothes from washer to dryer.

Goooooooooooood morning!

I know there are at least three of us here, and I KNOW you're not doing anything today.

The zionist group MIFF is marking Israel's "independence day" in Stavanger and we're expecting a large counter demonstration.

If you're close to Stavanger, get your asses over to the sentrum at 18:00.

https://kampkomiteen.net/?p=8859

Pretty sure I have this. I feel like whenever things start to get serious I start to feel stifled and like this person is gonna make me change and I'm gonna lose my freedom lmao. I partially attribute this to my beloved smother and sfather. I am the youngest child and they were pretty overbearing lol. Obviously I appreciate it a bit more now (esp when compared to some of my friends who were pretty neglected), but I do think it sparked this sense of not wanting to come under somebody else's will lol.

Some recent users (like myself, if two months is considered a short amount) in here actually enjoy this place, and it would be counterproductive and wrong to immediately dismiss every relatively controversial take because of the age of their account. Obviously if they come in flinging shit that's something else, but unless that's the case take into account they're just a new user.

I'm not saying this in response to any struggle sesh and more as a thing to take into account from this point onwards as more recently created accs have come in and started stirring shit, and people will (reasonably) lose trust in them.

"We need to sex up your wardrobe. What do you mean you're not comfortable wearing that? Oh honey, don't be such a prude, all the girls are doing it and you want to be successful don't you? No one's going to watch someone that dresses like their grandma."

I get sick and tired of so called leftists equating exploitation to sexual liberation.

My girlfriend is really close with her siblings and every second week of the month she always has all of them over to have dinner at our apartment so they can get together. It’s a large group of 5 other siblings so it gets loud but it’s all fun and they’re very nice people and we all get along. Her brother is really cool and builds computers for fun and I think that takes a level of knowledge that I don’t really posses so I’m like very happy for people who do things like that and I do see building computer is a hobby because it takes skill determination and a lot of time to do and there’s a healthy component behind I think. I think I see it as a puzzle.

He got upset at me though when we were talking about some computer parts, he was saying how one computer part is running very hot that it burns the cables and breaks the computer and even though this happens he says it’s rare and he still wants one. I asked him how that happens and he said it’s usually because the parts are put under a lot of pressure when they’re being used and sometimes they get really hot and they break and he said it’s usually because of a video game. I laughed a bit and said something like “breaking a computer over an video game lol” but I don’t think he got it and he said “well that’s the whole point of the parts to play video games.”

I laughed a bit but he wasn’t laughing and looked like a said something rude. I apologized for not knowing about the computers and he said it was okay. I told him that I only play Mario kart every now and then and that it’s my favorite game because me and my gf play it every now and then and that’s when he said “that’s a good hobby for you both” and I got confused and said “it’s not a hobby just a bit of fun.” He said hobbies are supposed to be fun and that’s why games are hobbies because they take a lot of time and energy. I frankly disagree with this so I told him “people put time and effort in work but work isn’t a hobby” and he got mad again and said “you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I think I upset him over the computer parts so I tried to make it up to him by saying “I think building computers is a hobby and that takes time and effort” but then he said “don’t patronize me I know what you’re doing” so things got really sour. He left the dinner table and went to watch tv.

After driving him home my sister told me that he spent a lot of money like thousands on online card games and that it was a sensitive topic for him. I didn’t mean to offend I really like him but now I feel like he probably thinks I’m some condescending person. Is there any way I can make it up to him?

I'm an IT manager for a tiny non-profit org. I had one employee, older guy who was fine at what he did. Didn't want to learn any of the new tech but was reliable at answering tickets and kicking things he didn't know up to me.

He got caught by HR clocking in and leaving to go home for a few hours before coming back....as far as we can tell going back years. HR knew he clocked in way sooner than they saw him pulling into the lot. He admitted to going home to get some coffee.

I just had to sit their while my boss doled out the termination...but I still feel like shit. I was the one who was lenient when I started and said "I won't be on your ass like the last guy, if tickets get solved and you're nice to our users, that's all I care about" but I did not expect this from him.

It's honestly king shit, steal from your employers all you can...but don't talk to the payroll person as you're walking in from your time home. He's union but since this is considered a severe infraction it doesn't go through the progressive discipline process.

I hate this world and hate that I contributed to its perpetual suffering.

Both me and my sister stayed there recently, and I guess he assumes we lost it. But I barely cooked when I was down there and my sister and her husband say they didn't have pasta while they were there.

This was a cheap ass pasta strainer mind you. He even admitted he didn't like it that much and got a new one at the dollar store for under $5 bucks. Mind you I'm pretty sure this man is technically a millionaire at this point (hence why he has a nice place near the beach I like to go to).

Jesus this man needs a hobby.

Edit: HE FOUND THE STRAINER!!!

The series from 1995. I had seen it as a schoolchild when it came out but now I see it with new eyes. Rather than the romance that we're meant to be focusing on when watching it, I couldn't help but concentrate on the behaviour of the lower classes towards the upper. Mr Darcy is the richest character in it, he has a stately home with huge grounds, and an income of £10K a year (equivalent to around £1 million a year now). He appears to get his income by being a landlord, renting out properties on his estate.

Mr Darcy doesn't appear to work, he's never even been in the army like may rich men did then. He doesn't even go to the trouble of managing his own estate, but has a steward to do that. He does nothing but go to balls, have dinner and sit around with his friends.

So basically he is a typical upper-class scrounger. He lives off the hard work of others, raking in rents, and gets a very luxurious lifestyle by doing this. And yet, the lower classes, the people who do all his work for him and pay him the money he lives off, have to show him great respect instead of vice versa. Every time a lower class person such as a servant appears in his presence, they have to bow and curtsey to him and call him My Lord. Even though their hard work is what keeps him alive.

And he is so snobby towards those below him, even towards other landed gentry who are a bit poorer than him. And it's so similar to rich people today. I just wonder what goes on in the head of someone like that. Other people do everything for you but you think you're better than them. How does that even compute in someone's mind?

It's so crazy that this is still going on in the 21st century, especially with the royals. Prince William is a shitty landlord who owns 600 rental properties that poor people live in, he lets them go to rack and ruin so the families live in mould and damp and struggle to pay their rent so William can live in luxury, yet instead of being grateful he expects people to curtsey to him and call him Sir wherever he goes.

The royal family have four palaces as well as multiple other homes, Buckingham Palace alone has 775 rooms. There are nearly one million unoccupied homes in the UK. Of these, over 265K are long-term unoccupied, mostly owned by rich individuals and rich corporations. There are also 280K second homes in the UK. Meanwhile there are over 354K homeless people in the UK. Not to mention millions more struggling to pay rent to landlords. All of these homeless people could be housed with room to spare, and many more could be freed from the burden of rent.

Why is the most respect and deference given to those who hoard this wealth so that others go without, who feather their own nests at the expense of everyone else? We are long overdue for a revolution.

Hi I am in a rly awful mood rn xwx

I shouldn't even be here rn, I deleted my main acct just cuz the drama here got too be way too much for me to not feel like shit half the time I visit but I still lurk for some reason (there is no other site like this place in spite of its incredible ability to generate fighting over pointless and/or esoteric stuff)

Maybe it's just me being more sensitive to it lately cuz I haven't been struggling with mental health as much in past year but I feel like it's getting worse

And every time I read these threads it's the most obvious alt accounts for ppl who have been banned like 100 times already and I've been so online I am like 67% sure I can tell who is who now lmao

DayOfDoom (not to target you specificallyyy but its been very blatant and ofc that was part of your bit for a while) and all the creepy and/or brainwormed cis white guys who got purged during the last site cultural revolution before everyone involved burned out or left are still fucking here (the rowing guy, for example, I actually like you but it is kinda wild how mad and like.... antisocial the gas stove thing made you :| I had to remove some of your posts right after that omg, idk)

Idk what's up with Melina but even me mentioning faer is gonna invoke some of those irony poisoned ppl in fae's social circle to start shit under this post with their 17 alt accts lol. Literally just read their names. Do you recognize them? Was their account made 13 days ago and has been solely posting in /c/fakenews or the news thread? Do they post anything other than irony poisoned bits or antisocial yearning for billions to die? It's so fucking obvious but we aren't banning them, idek

Oooh, and one of the more entertaining and obvious wreckers I like to watch is Voight :3 Guy who posts like 10 rant replies to you before you even see their first reply. Did you end up going to Vietnam? I hope you're logged the fuck off now lol, site stuff obviously rly bothering you :/ I'm too tired to remember details of weird politics stuff you posted

Ugh idk, here's some things I think we should do:

• Ban /c/fakenews

Yeah it's mostly not funny and is run by and invites the same kind of irony poisoned ppl who keep cooking new drama. It was basically Melina's comm for a while cuz almost no one else wanted to be around fae's posting

• News threads and general megathreads need more oversight or smth

The news megas are kinda likeee a whole different site, populated both by ppl who have genuinely interesting stuff to share even if it's often wrong and the rly brainwormed irony poisoned geopolitics enjoyers. I didn't spend a lot of time there just cuz idk... vibes were off kinda so others know a lot more about their drama incidents than me. But there are a lot of ppl who were banned or need to be banned who only participate in the news thread and go on the main site to stir up shit lol. Here's some words to create ✧˖°. discussion ✧˖°.: ZPoster the ultimate ban evader, uhhhh LargePenis getting bullied off the site for a bit with a lot of it from ZPoster, also its kinda wild anyone thought that xiaohongshu imposter drama post could've been anything but one of their haters from the news thread making fun of them

The general megathreads..... okay Im running out of horrible self-harming drama energy to keep writing buttttt they did often have ppl posting a lot of rly personal stuff especially about other ppl in a way that is rly problematic and continues to be (ban crushposting, just fuckin ban it)

• Make the site account creation process require an invite or someone to vouch for you. Or start logging IP addresses, idk. Have the server pipe log output to a program that greps for them, sends a copy over a encrypted connection to a . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . securer . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . machine that the admins control directly, and sends the rest to /dev/null, something, anything. Not logging IP addresses doesn't rly mean anything tbh, it's running on a cloud server in fuckin :france-cool: feds can get those IP addresses easily if they want them, get them off the server so hypothetical hackers cant get at them all easily but yeh

Here's a hot take: power posters CAN be good.

It means literally nothing for your opsec that you delete your account periodically. We have a wrecker (I can't find the source for this rn) who has admitted that they have a server federated to us, which means they SEE and SAVE EVERYTHING. Who upvotes what, what actions moderators have taken, the polite requests to delete stuff local users deleted (for a while, post deletions didn't even federate lmao)

Also, Lemmy is scraped constantly now. Not only by ppl who need AI stuff or advertisers or whatever. Plug you account into the wayback machine here: https://web.archive.org/ I bet it's there lol

How can you build a community when everyone is changing names and avatars every few weeks? You can't, which is why we have a community of power posters for better or worse

Power posters create so much of this fuckin drama but also any one power poster is soooooo much less likely to be doing the kind of shit the obvious alt accounts are doing, cuz being here for any extended length of time and being recognized means you are trusted more to some extent

Okay im hitting post before every neuron is telling me not to post this

Oh one last thing, there is an incredibly trivial way for anyone to see who is performing moderation actions. Admins of other servers in the network can also see and that is probably unfixable

None of this info I learned through privileged channels

Also also, the Lemmy code sucks ass, how does every Rust project start to look like a node.js project after like a year lmao

News articles about people asking things like "I have £1 million in savings and a £1 million pension pot. I own my 7 bedroom mansion outright with no mortgage and I own three other properties that I rent out. Can I afford to retire?"

Two years on from graduating and I've become my computer science degree isn't worth the paper it was printed on, so I've made the decision to try and swing a civil engineering degree in two years. Enough credits transfer that it should be a normal class load. But beyond that, I want to get the hell out of the south yesterday. I want to give living in the PNW a shot and I'd rather avoid waiting another two years for it because I'm at that age where I get very self-conscious about what little time left I have as a """young""" person and how I need to meet somebody or get ready for a dating market where most people my age are taken. We're working with layers of complexes here.

My plan is to see if I can't convince the two friends of mine who were already looking to move to come with me, work a year so I qualify for in-state tuition, then do a two year in-and-out at the university of oregon. On the surface, moving 2500 miles away from the only place I've ever lived to go somewhere I've only heard about through the distorted lens of media in order to take on tens of thousands of dollars of debt is a fantastically awful idea. Upon closer inspection, it continues to feel like a very bad idea. I could very easily end up far worse off than I started, and I'm already in a very precarious spot. But you know what? I've only done what I felt like were good, safe ideas so far and I'm deeply dissatisfied with where that's left me. I went for a safe major that was supposedly guaranteed employment in a high-earning field and after eating all of the time and money that degrees generally do, it did nothing for me. So now I'm going to take a risk on going where (I think) I want to go to do what (I think) I want to do. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified of the consequences of my own actions, but I just can't take living in the fucking suburban south another year.

I have to acknowledge that, along the shallowest dimension, I want some place that lines up more with my personal aesthetic tastes. Cowboy country pick-up bullshit grates against me tremendously. But more practically, the southern states are on a downward trend. They're the most conservative, the more environmentally at-risk, and the poorest, all of which are troubling signs for the future of the people who live here. Maybe the proper Communist thing to do would to be to stay and fight the rising tide, but at the end of the day, I am a coward who knows no community.

My schedule is pretty rushed since I have to be there before September if I want to qualify for in-state tuition for next Fall. I'll miss my parent's dogs (as much mine as theirs) deeply, and I feel guilty that one of them is getting old and I won't be there to see him through to the end. I'll miss bluebell, gumbo, and Mardi Gras. As frustrating as they can be, I'll miss my parents and my sister. And that's the heart of it. I don't know if I'm giving up everything I've ever known because I'm so internet poisoned that I think I'll be happy because the vague notion of communism is more popular, the economy is better, and I think cold weather is cool. So that's it for this pseudo-diary entry. Can anybody relate? More broadly, has anybody here bootstrapped themselves in a wholly new place before?

I'm genuinely considering getting a replica, so I can wear it to demos and stuff