this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Wow, I did not relise Cuba had this much power... Can they do this to the Commander of Guantanimo Bay?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago

Havana hard time drawing a clock

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago

Oh no not the secret energy beam that turns 82 year olds senile! lenin facepalm

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Can't wait until the next debate when he can shield himself with a tinfoil hat.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago (1 children)

As the years go on, it's becoming really clear that Havana Syndrome was a complete hoax. If it was an energy weapon or aliens or anything, there'd be more actual evidence and verifiable reports.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

Counterpoint: Joe Biden's performance on the debate

Obviously, Russia made him shid his pants, and melted his brains, using the laser...

I'm not an unhinged person, okay?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Just for the fun of it, let's grant that Russia has some secret mind-scrambling ray that can pinpoint a single person in a crowded studio, undetected. That premise is ridiculous enough, but let's just run with it.

Where did they deploy it from? Was there a guy in the studio? Building nearby? Biden has security service protection that is going to be screening all those places, nobody would even be able to use a handheld mind ray.

Or does Russia have mind-melting space lasers now? From which satellite are those being beamed down?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

To play devil's advocate (mind altering lasers aren't real) It would have been prearranged which lecturn the presidents stood at. The Russians could have implanted their senile sonar waves in there. Assuming the profile of the device is small to be concealed.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It was deployed from the only place unsullied by capitalism: Space!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

lol it's just such an absurd scenario, this tech would have to be literal magic

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

Assuming that its not complete nonesense I could totally see the scientist chuckling a bit and saying that guy Biden is acting just like that Havana syndrome nonsense that people talked. And the ex KGB guy says Biden made the scientist think of the Havana syndrome

[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 months ago (2 children)

They have achieved pinnacle blue MAGA

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

Blue Maga. That's a new one to me, makes total sense. I am gonna use that now lol.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Indeed, liberal conspiracy theories used to avoid devolving into outright absurdity. Nowadays, they're embracing overtly bizarre and outlandish narratives.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Have you seen the one where they think Putin taught Trump how to poison Biden before the debate?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

White House Witch Hunt! Lets do it! Lets see what Jill Biden REALLY knows after a week in Guantánamo! I bet the intern that makes coffee is actually Old Man Putin in a rubber mask!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

blueAnon finally has some banger conspiracies :)

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'm just envisioning Trump coming over to Biden's makeup/prep room, whatever they get, before the debate to say good luck in private and just let him know it's nothing personal between them. While they're chatting Biden is getting layers upon layers of makeup caked on and Trump is just nervously inching closer and closer to Joe's water bottle with a tiny bottle of visine eye drops. Just enough to fuck him up and counteract the speedball.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Trump is just nervously inching closer and closer to Joe

And then they kiss

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

my first love, there's only you in my life, the only thing that's right

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Until this election cycle, the idea that the democrats are always better than the republicans had never been significantly contested and peoples voting blue to block the republicans had been the status quo. But the genocide broke the illusion which subsequently broke liberal's brains.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 months ago (1 children)

A 9000 year old political fossil from the era of black-apartheid with an obvious history of severe mental decline IS ACTUALLY VICTIM OF EBIL RUSHA SPACE LAZER. Occams Razor saves democracy once again.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's absolutely hilarious how liberals view Russia as a technological backwater on the brink of implosion, yet simultaneously capable of developing futuristic weaponry. This perfectly encapsulates their ability to hold two diametrically opposed beliefs at once while still maintaining an air of moral superiority.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago (1 children)

something something the enemy is both strong and weak something something

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

It's hilarious how liberals recycle the same handful of narratives, demonstrating a severe lack of originality.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago

Oh thank God, finally a rational explanation for that debate performance

[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

'No, mom, we can't put grandpa in the nursing home. He is not suffering from dementia, the Republicans are just beaming him with special memory loss lasers! Wait, where are these doctors taking me?'